What about the writing commitment?

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Been working on UH syllabus most of the afternoon, then remembered that I promised to write every day. Hmm. Didn't do that yesterday; did I write Friday? Perhaps.

I used to be much more social -- the mission did that, no doubt. And I could remain social for years after. But I know my person/self has been injured, damaged, offended, [something] so I don't have the social confidence I once had. I have little confidence in fact, official or unofficial. I said as little as possible last week in the orientation meetings, and even at LSC meetings I did my best to avoid others. So what is the value of socialization? Why bother? Relationships -- all of them -- are fleeting and ephemeral [first time? I've used that word]. Still, like teeth-brushing, necessary, and so I go through the motions.

Why do we plan so far in advance in classes? Can't we flow? Or is this an exercise in initiation? I recognize the value in planning, and in supervision/oversight. But so much work on the front end doesn't necessarily mean less work in the long run.

Worried the day before: Worried about cocky UH students who think they already know it all; worried about LSC students who really aren't ready for a real college course; worried about finances; worried about addressing house situation with Nick; worried about what's going to happen in 20 years.

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